So many of them, spinning around in my head. I'm trying desperately to turn four years of experiences and emotions in to a single coherent unit: to explain, expand, to share and reflect on my years as a BA student. I'm attempting to finish my submission for graduation speech: and it's a struggle. I know just what I want to say and how to say it. Yet my fingers stall above the keys and that place where you feel tears starting, right behind the eyes, seems to almost squeeze.
Hello darling followers. At this point if you're my follower you've been around long enough to know when I'm at school, occasionally I go on serious, long hiatuses. It's silly and I shouldn't do it and in these last few weeks before graduation (!!!) I'm going to keep working very hard to break the habit.
So what have I been up to in the past month? Hamlet opened, and ran, and closed, all the weekend of a snowstorm. I seem to have recovered from pneumonia, finally, though occasionally if I am tired I have a nasty chest cough that hints at the bronchitis.
Romeo and Juliet also opened, and ran, and closed, and my roommates were radiant (Award nominated! Both of them!) successes who filled my heart, tore it out, and then dragged it all across the stage.
We had blizzards and ice storms and strange warm days that felt like spring had arrived way early and my body responded by being sore and cranky and achy and crack-y and such.
My roommates and I, after that last post about how nice it was to see and spend time with each other, started doing more of exactly that. Trying to carve out quiet moments, to pause and listen and share. I am a strong believer in physical presence - to reach out and touch each other's hand, give a hug long enough to take a deep breath, tuck back a lock of hair, squeeze a leg affectionately when you walk by, pat a shoulder. And not just touch as physical presence, but sitting in a room together even if we're all by necessity glued to our separate screens doing separate homework: emptying the dishwasher without question and without comment, knowing that whoever filled it will feel the comfort of living with another person and their helping hands when they go back to check and the dishwasher is empty.
I survived midterms. It was hellacious but necessary and the last time I shall have to do it.
There were some stressful group projects.
There was an awesome learning curve programming a lighting board.
From here on in, I promise to improve how I take care of myself and this little blog going forward!