This Is Living the Dream

I woke up this morning like I always do.  I sat bolt upright when my alarm went off and mumbled what I assume were swear words at it.  I then face planted back onto my pillow, and took a deep breath.  Thus began what I like to call "The Snap/Crackle/Pop Morning Symphony."  I stretched my back, rolled my ankles (crrrraaaaacckk!  poppoppop), worked my legs under the covers (snap! snapsnap!  crrrrunch. thud) and flipped onto my back, stretching my arms over my head.  I dragged myself out from under the sheets, cracking my feet/toes/arches, snapping my shoulders, and otherwise releasing the various air bubbles and bundles of pressure that formed in my body as I slept.

I shivered and hurried to the kitchen to put the kettle on.  Said my prayers as I cooked breakfast, did my stretches, etc. etc. etc.  The same as any morning - but this morning was different.  This morning as I packed my oversized bag full of everything-I-could-possibly-need, I had a sudden realization.  In the quiet of the kitchen I finally understood - this is it.  This is living the dream.  On a smaller scale than I'd like to, of course - but even dreams come in babysteps.

I was about to head off to a day of Winter Camp with kids at the Learning Center where I teach.  We would play on the trampoline, run races, tumble, perfect handstands, do a mini-ballet class, listen to classical music, color, and dance all day.  Our only breaks were for snacks (banas, apple slices, cucumbers, and unsalted pretzels) and storys.  Then I would hop into the car, eat a quick flatbread from Subway and rush of to our final tech rehearsal. . .

For my first professional performance.

This morning I threw my sweater and notebook in my bag and relished that for a moment.  My first professional show.  I'd like to tell you it was for something big - a new work for a prominent company.  Or glamorous - world premier for a new ballet.  Or even that I had a big role.  The truth is, it was a very small part of a big show, and I am only on stage for a few, brief, glorious, seconds.  I don't even really dance: it's just being a comedic character, making the audience laugh.  But that audience?  It's a venue that holds 2,000 people.  And tonight, every seat was taken.  It's not high-paying - 50 dollars a show, and 10 comp tickets, plus meals provided.  But it is in fact paying which means I get to end 2011 not as the aspiring dancer I've been all my life, but as a professional dancer.

For a few, sweet days.

I can share the benefits of my "pointless," and "expensive," major and my "risky," and "impractical," career choice with friends and family in the form of free tickets to a sold-out show.

I get to live the dream: and what a dream it is.  The seconds I stepped onto the stage it was like lightening passed through my body.  I have never been more alive.  No moment has lasted longer than that split second, forever frozen in my mind, when pure adrenaline and love suspended time.  The only sound I can ever imagine comparing to the noise of 2,000 pairs of applauding hands is the first time I hear my future children's voices.

For the next two days I get to go from job one - playing with and helping shape children - to job two, helping make 2,000 people laugh.

How lucky am I?

Five Hundred, Twenty-Five Thousand, Six Hundred Minutes

It's been one year. . .

Twelve months. . . 

8, 765.81277 hours. . . 

It's been eight weeks on a couch.

A summer spent on physical therapy, tears, nausea, and relearning parts of my own body.

It's been two semesters of holding back in dance classes.  Of explaining to guest instructors why I must modify their choreography.

It's been dozens of sleepless nights, fueled by pain.

It's been countless attempts at the most basic of exercises: a push up.

Innumerable muscle spasms.

Five prescriptions for five different painkillers: none that worked.

Two medical complications.

One nerve blocker.

A list of fears and what-ifs that is longer than I care to count.

A thousand supportive smiles and encouraging words from loyal friends.

The best specialist this side of Dr. House

One amazing Physical Therapist.

Two slings.

Four ice packs.

Three procedures.

And it has been 525,600 minutes since my shoulder surgery.  Since I gambled on the one thing that might -  that would maybe - give me a shot at pursuing my dreams.  That could stop the spasms, the dislocating, the pain, the numb fingers and the twitching forearm.  I know many people have overcome more than this: and that I haven't even overcome yet - I am still six months away from knowing if the procedures even worked.  But I am here: one year in.  One year later.  One year stronger.

And I thank God for that.

I Made Another Blog.

I know.  I know I know I know I know!  I hardly have time to squeeze writing and sharing and posting good stuff on this blog (which I love so much).  Why would I ever go out and make another one?!?!?  Well, this other one is something I've been thinking about doing in some form or other for a long time now.  It's called I Want You To Know and it has a totally different theme and feel than A Space For Inspiration does.  You know how one of the goals I hold closest is the idea of starting a family/being a mom?  Well, this blog is about that.

Now before you panic, I am not pregnant.  I have no intentions of abandoning my collegiate career, my performance career, my grad school career, my wild and carefree youth (ok so it's a pretty tame and detail oriented youth, but you get the idea) or any of the rest of that sort of thing.  Marriage, kids, all that is a long time away for me still. . . which got me thinking.  I'm pretty young and I'm still learning new things everyday.  If I learn one new and valuable thing everyday for 365 days, and I'm ten years away from having kids, thats. . . well a lot more things than I can count right now.  So thats what this new blog is for.  To write down the things I learn that are important (or at least that I think are important right now).  To share images and thoughts and ideas and realizations and lessons that inspire me or help me grow as a person that I think might do the same for my (future) kids.

I couldn't do a journal or letters.  I'd loose them and my handwriting sucks.  So instead I am infringing on the blogosphere, taking up more than my fair share of space.  If you might be interested in what I have to say, or have advice to share, or just want to laugh at my mumbled musings, please check out I Want You To Know.

Thanks and love (can you tell I'm a wee bit embarrassed by myself?).

Camelot Academy

Some of you guys have heard a lot about Camelot Academy.  Some of you may have heard nothing about it.  In a nutshell, it's one of my biggest dreams. . . and this whole post is going to be devoted to it!

I'm a dancer.  It's what I do, it's who I am.  I also have taught  - dance, martial arts, Vacation Bible School - for years and years.  I have a love of performance in all it's forms: theater, singing, gymnastics, etc.  And I've always liked the idea of healing people, which lead me to want to pursue a Doctorate of Physical Therapy.  I want to combine these things somehow, and Camelot is how I'm going to do it.

Camelot Academy (this is sort of like the project codename.  I'm not sure if I'll actually be calling it that or not) is my dream program, incorporating dance, gymnastics, theater, voice lessons, martial arts, and fitness together.  Here is how it will work:

The main center will be a high-caliber dance facility.  True classical ballet will be offered, as well as Jazz, Modern, Hip Hop, Tap, Contemporary, Pointe, Partnering, and Ballroom courses.  Supplemental programs will include seminars in Bellydancing, Indian Classical Dance, African Dance, Mime, Irish Step Dancing, etc.  And all of the teachers will be exceptionally qualified: professional and former professional dancers, well versed in their fields, with a call to teaching and knack for choreography.  The emphasis will not be on competition - it will be on refinement and performance.  An end of the year performance will be held every spring.

So far, all I've described is a Dance Studio.  But Camelot is something much more: it's a center for well rounded performing artists.  Also available at the main center, the dance studio, will be voice lessons - private and group - from qualified teachers.  Acting, Theater, Improv, Shakespeare courses will all be available as well, in this same facility.

Camelot Academy will be housed in more than one location.  The second branch will be a Gymnastics Academy: not just someplace where kids learn tumbling and gymnastic basics.  Someplace where true competitive gymnasts can train, under experienced coaches.

Also available - although I'm not yet sure at which location or if it will be it's own facility - will be a Martial Arts dojo.  High quality, safe instruction.

Each program will have set syllabuses, cross-referenced with each other an with courses designed specifically for Camelot Academy.  Tumbling and Acrobatics for Dancers: Intro to Movement for Gymnasts.  Movement II for Gymnasts. Fosse Jazz, Tap for Musical Theater, Self-Defense classes for performing artists.

Other classes will be offered by term (there will be three term a year, fall/winter, winter/spring, and summer) such as day long workshops about stage makeup, eating disorders, hair styling, weight training, etc.  The syllabuses and various programs will all be over seen by a physical therapist (thats me!) and physician.  This will reduce stress fractures, tendonitis, and incidents of other training-related injuries.

The final piece of the puzzle  is the gym.  Whether it is housed in one of the Camelot facilities or will be a partnership, there will be a full sized gym - offering all of the basic equipment, pool, and classes such as Pilates, Zumba, and Yoga.  Camelot students will have access to the gym and it's classes at discount rates, just as they have access to dance, theater, voice, gymnastics, and martial arts through cross training.

Can't you just imagine the artists and athletes this environment would produce?

This is my dream. . . this is my Camelot.