(basically my face all week/weekend)
I tore through my ballet slippers. I realized in order to take Pointe and pass, I'd need to be able to afford Pointe shoes. Dang. I met a freshmen who I used to dance with. I started rehearsals. I've been in three dance department meetings. I joined a Greek Chorus for the play Medea. I've iced. I've held someone's hair while they threw up. I told a rude freshmen EXACTLY what I thought of his, erm, advances. I got dressed up and went out.
I felt the heavy strain long distance puts on a relationship. The way the miles tear at the fibers of the heart as it stretches to cover the distance. The way doubts slide in like a knife into a sheath, smooth and natural and sharp.
I've given thanks that the person I love and the network that supports us is stronger than the miles are long and steadier than doubts are sharp.
It has been a long first week. And there have been a couple times when the stress and the pain in my shoulder and the emotions felt overwhelming. . . but in the end, this is who I am. This is where I flourish, where I'm meant to be. Dancing, every day. Working, learning, striving, creating. I'm most alive when I dance. I'm a better person because here, in this world, there are people that rely on me. Count on me. I have to rise to that. I never know my own heart better than when it is stretched out before me to see.
Every stressful day after too little sleep and with too much to do, I wake up and thank God for it.
To serve the Lord.
To love a good man, and be loved in return.
To touch someone's heart.
This is what I ask for. . . and in every day of this past crazy week, this is what I've received. Life is crazy tiring stressful awe inspiring scary Good.