Sonnet 116

Hello All!

Thanks, "Sense and Sensibility," for reminding me of the beauty of this sonnet. . . obviously, the bold is mine.  While I originally didn't want to add it (And this subtract from the already splendid majesty) I realized it's my blog, and this is where I feel the emphasis as I read:

Let me not to the marriage of true minds

Admit impediments. Love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove:

O no! it is an ever-fixéd mark

That looks on tempests and is never shaken;

It is the star to every wandering bark,

Whose Worth's unknown, although his height be taken.

Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks

Within his bending sickle's compass come;

Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,

But bears it out even to the edge of doom:

If this be error and upon me proved,

I never writ, nor no man ever loved

Camelot Academy

Some of you guys have heard a lot about Camelot Academy.  Some of you may have heard nothing about it.  In a nutshell, it's one of my biggest dreams. . . and this whole post is going to be devoted to it!

I'm a dancer.  It's what I do, it's who I am.  I also have taught  - dance, martial arts, Vacation Bible School - for years and years.  I have a love of performance in all it's forms: theater, singing, gymnastics, etc.  And I've always liked the idea of healing people, which lead me to want to pursue a Doctorate of Physical Therapy.  I want to combine these things somehow, and Camelot is how I'm going to do it.

Camelot Academy (this is sort of like the project codename.  I'm not sure if I'll actually be calling it that or not) is my dream program, incorporating dance, gymnastics, theater, voice lessons, martial arts, and fitness together.  Here is how it will work:

The main center will be a high-caliber dance facility.  True classical ballet will be offered, as well as Jazz, Modern, Hip Hop, Tap, Contemporary, Pointe, Partnering, and Ballroom courses.  Supplemental programs will include seminars in Bellydancing, Indian Classical Dance, African Dance, Mime, Irish Step Dancing, etc.  And all of the teachers will be exceptionally qualified: professional and former professional dancers, well versed in their fields, with a call to teaching and knack for choreography.  The emphasis will not be on competition - it will be on refinement and performance.  An end of the year performance will be held every spring.

So far, all I've described is a Dance Studio.  But Camelot is something much more: it's a center for well rounded performing artists.  Also available at the main center, the dance studio, will be voice lessons - private and group - from qualified teachers.  Acting, Theater, Improv, Shakespeare courses will all be available as well, in this same facility.

Camelot Academy will be housed in more than one location.  The second branch will be a Gymnastics Academy: not just someplace where kids learn tumbling and gymnastic basics.  Someplace where true competitive gymnasts can train, under experienced coaches.

Also available - although I'm not yet sure at which location or if it will be it's own facility - will be a Martial Arts dojo.  High quality, safe instruction.

Each program will have set syllabuses, cross-referenced with each other an with courses designed specifically for Camelot Academy.  Tumbling and Acrobatics for Dancers: Intro to Movement for Gymnasts.  Movement II for Gymnasts. Fosse Jazz, Tap for Musical Theater, Self-Defense classes for performing artists.

Other classes will be offered by term (there will be three term a year, fall/winter, winter/spring, and summer) such as day long workshops about stage makeup, eating disorders, hair styling, weight training, etc.  The syllabuses and various programs will all be over seen by a physical therapist (thats me!) and physician.  This will reduce stress fractures, tendonitis, and incidents of other training-related injuries.

The final piece of the puzzle  is the gym.  Whether it is housed in one of the Camelot facilities or will be a partnership, there will be a full sized gym - offering all of the basic equipment, pool, and classes such as Pilates, Zumba, and Yoga.  Camelot students will have access to the gym and it's classes at discount rates, just as they have access to dance, theater, voice, gymnastics, and martial arts through cross training.

Can't you just imagine the artists and athletes this environment would produce?

This is my dream. . . this is my Camelot.

Right Hand. Left Hand.

"When you do a charitable deed, do not left your left hand know what the right hand is doing."

                                                                                        -Matthew 6:3, NKJV

         Most of us have heard this quote, whether we knew it was from the Bible or not.  This week, I was fortunate enough to experience people who lived by it.

In a nutshell, I'm headed back to school in about two weeks.  There is a lot of stuff to do, some of it around my recovery and some of it around scheduling, etc.  I woke up the other day kind of worried about it.  My Facebook status was a tongue-in-cheek to do list/litany of concerns.  The last item was how I had a "shopping list as long as my arm," and no funds to shop with!  This is true in a lot of ways:  I haven't been able to work much this summer because of my injury.  I have a once-in-a-lifetime-opportunity for travel this spring, that I am desperately saving for.  My family circumstance is. . . financially tight.  Plus, I am a college student, and what college student has ever had enough money?!?!?

That being said, I am lucky.  My mom took out a loan to help pay my tuition this year: one of my aunts sent me a hundred dollars to help me buy textbooks for fall semester.  So I will go to school, I will not starve, and I will at least have books.  These are the necessities.  My status was mostly about sharing my stress with my fellow-stressed-out-students, who laughed and shared their own lists of woes and worries.

This is where the gesture comes in.

I log on to my Facebook (I'm kind of a junky.  I admit it.  Mostly in the summer, though, because during the school year I am flat. out.) and see the (1) symbol next to my inbox.

A friend of mine had written me in regards to my status.  He told me that if I were serious about being underfunded to cover my shopping list, he and his fiancee would love to help.  If, of course, I'd allow them.  Now here are the parts that make this gesture exceptional.

I've known him and his fiancee for a month.

We've met in person maybe five times?

They have no knowledge of my or my family's income: no way of knowing if I am belly aching over nothing.

They're newly engaged and planning a wedding.

And trying to buy a computer.

And fund a music program for young children.  Because she is passionate about those two things.

And find a place to live after they are married.

They both work demanding jobs: he has been working constant overtime, getting up before the sun is up, coming home late, all at a physical, labor-intense job.  So they can cover their costs and overhead and plans and dreams.

It would have been so easy to leave a comment, seen by everyone, on my status.  Something like "Hey, get in touch with me.  There's something I want to talk about."  or "Can we help?"

Either of them could have "felt out" the circumstance (i.e. Would I accept their help?  Did I need it?  How dire were things?) by calling, texting, or asking mutual acquaintances.  Or even Boyfriend, who introduced us.  They talk all the time anyway - it would hardly be out of line to ask Boyfriend about Girlfriend!

Instead, the message was private.  It hasn't been mentioned since. No one knows about it but him, his fiancee, and me.  Unless I chose to tell people.  Thus I am not embarrassed by a need for charity.  My pride can go unmolested. No one will pat them on the back.  Their virtue will go unseen.

There are a lot of people in this world who claim to be "Religious," or "Christian."  And there are a lot of people who are Atheists or Agnostic who claim that just helping each other out is all thats needed.  There are very few people who practice what they preach.  This couple does.  They devote themselves to church and others on Sunday.  They don't gossip.  Their doors and hearts are always open.  They give freely, more to others than they keep to themselves.  He signed a small loan this week, to cover some of his costs. . . the same week they offered to also cover mine.  And perhaps the most amazing of all, in today's instant-gratification society, they look for no recognition.  Ask for no praise or reward.

The best way I can thank them is to let them remain anonymous.  I won't tell the left hand.

It has been two weeks since I blogged.  I have no idea how I let things get so out of hand!  But I'm back now, and I intend to be more pulled together in the future.

For now, a run-down of my last two weeks.

* I've begun teaching martial arts again.  Twice a week to a small group of pre/early teen boys.  This is kind of a big deal, as a year ago I was convinced I'd never ever set foot in a dojo again.  More on that in another post.

* I gave myself a mild concussion.  By falling over - totally sober - in a bathroom and banging my head on the corner of a metal toilet paper dispenser.  How did I manage that one?  I was at a pool, the floor was wet, I was trying to wiggle out of my swimshorts and into a pair of pants. . . the rest is history (history that I don't clearly remember, to be honest)

* I remembered how much I love children.  Teaching them, playing with them, chasing after them, hugging them. . . interacting with kids is one of the things I've missed this year, one of the only holes in my freshmen experience.

* I found out that my friend was able to secure the costume that I really, really, REALLY wanted to wear for Carnival.  Carnival in Trinidad and Tobago.  Where I am going to be for Spring Break.  Spring Break 2011, which is this coming year, and which I will be spending in Trinidad & Tobago.

I'm effing PUMPED.  And the costume is so beautiful!  It will need it's own post to describe and fawn over . . .

* Today is my 1st Anniversary.  And Boyfriend has done a pretty solid job!  Delicious lunch out, lots of happiness over my gift (fake or otherwise, he pulled it off well!), wandering around Border's, a stack of books, Coldstone's, and later we're watching the movie we went to see in theater's on our "first" date.

*I've engaged in lots and lots of arguing over my school bill. . . well, I've engaged in lots and lots of being ignored while arguing about my school bill.  I'm trying to make them understand that I'm not paying for their health insurance, since I have my own.  Just like I had last year.  Thus, I also do not owe them a late fee on a bill that is not in fact mine, for services not yet rendered and entirely unnecessary.

* I've begun my new job, the one mentioned in the post "Happiness."  While the work itself is enjoyable and my employers are incredible people, it has been a frustrating experience at times.  There truly is a technology gap between generations!  Having to ease them into the idea of a flashdrive and teach them not to call Facebook "Facepage" has been quite the job!

* I've thought lots and lots about blogging, and not quite gotten to it!

I apologize for how boring this post is and promise far more entertaining ones to follow soon. . . mayeb even tonight.

Dreams

So (at least according to the description under the title) I'm supposed to be using this blog to chronicle my attempts to take my small-town-self and achieve big-time dreams.  What are those big-time dreams?  Well, I'm sure you probably already know, dear friends and family who loyally read, but just in case you'd like to see them again, here they are!

1.) I want to earn an Associate's Degree, a Bachelor's Degree, and a Doctorate.

(Ideally I won't die of brainmelt before that happens. . . or literally drown in debt)

2.) I want to dance professionally, with a company.

(This is Linda. She dances with Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater.  She is rather perfect & gorgeous.  When I grow up I want to be like her.)

3.) I'd like to perform on Broadway and/or National Tour.

('nuff said.)

4.) I want to have some of my work published.

(Books!  Poems! Short Stories! Essays! Happiness!)

5.) I want to see the world - travel, explore, experience!

6.) Camelot.  "Camelot," is my nickname/code name for my long-term dream.  The short version is this: I want to earn my Doctorate of Physical Therapy as well as dance professionally. . . so that eventually I can open the facility I have deemed Camelot, a place where dance in as many of its forms as possible (true classical ballet, modern, contemporary, hip hop, tap, ballroom) as well as having a partnership with a professional gymnastics academy, a gym, and a martial arts dojo (studio).  As many classes as possible would be offered in one location: all the schools individually would be considered one academy, like the multiple colleges within a single university.  All of them would work together to create cohesive syllabuses under the supervision of physical therapists (who would be on staff).  There are lots more details about Camelot I've worked out in my head, but it truly requires its own post to describe!

7.)  Family.  This something way off in the future, and while it is less. . . outlandish, I suppose, than the other dreams I have, it is just  as close to my heart and will take at least as much work.  I hope for a large, happy family. . . six kids sounds about right to me!

(I know this is a photoshopped and staged picture.  I know that "having a baby" and "being a mother" are wildly different things.  And raising a family is not white and shiny and clean and serene all the time.  But no matter how many children I have and how busy life gets, I want this moment.  This feeling, this love, this serenity and sureness and these tiny bubbles of joy that make the mess and craziness and heartache so completely worth it,)