Different.

Have you ever heard the mantra opposites attract?  Of course you have, what a silly question. . . anyway, the reason I bring it up is because of this image that appeared on my tumblr dashboard:

I wanted to reblog it (share it with other people) when I smiled to myself.  I have my tumblr linked to my Facebook account, so when something appears on there it appears on my profile.  This would mean Boyfriend would see it. . . and Boyfriend isn't particularly fond of hippies.  If you know me, you'll find this fairly amusing.  While I don't smoke weed and I do shave my armpits, I am in many ways a hippie.  My hair hangs most of the way down my back, as it has nearly all my life: I am barefoot from the second I get home in early May until the very minute I get in the car to come back to school in early September. I don't really believe in synthetic drugs: I do believe in growing as many of your own veggies as you can.  I listen to the Beatles.  I make jewlery out of hemp, wear anklets, and have an interest in all things holistic.

I remember being in Boyfriend's car the first summer we were together.  The windows were open, it was sunny out, and I was barefoot, my hair blowing all around me (and consequently, the car. oops) I had my hemp bracelet and my anklet and my favorite big earrings, my tank top and my old jeans on.  He looked at me for a second and then sort of shook his head.  I grinned at him, knowing exactly what he was thinking: "How in the hell did I end up with a hippie girlfriend?"  I called him on it and he nodded, smiling.  He informed me I am an "acceptable," hippie (whatever that means?) and that was why it worked. He even likes my hippie friends, which is cool - I guess they're acceptable too (i'm teasing. sort of.)

Boyfriend is pretty much as non-hippie as you can possibly get.  Really.  He's more all-american, apple pie, church on Sunday sort. . . blended liberally with metal listening, Vans wearing, multi-instrument playing, scruffy face guy.

So how on earth do things "work"?  Usually I think it's because of those very differences, we get along.  On the big things in life, we agree.  We share the same Faith, we both want a family, we believe that relationships take work, etc.  But on so many other things, we're different.  I'm the sort or person who sort of just goes where the wind blows: I could easily pack my bags and head out of town, never knowing when I'd be back again.  I'm a vicious multitasker, I talk too much and I feel too much and I go to fast and I worry, worry, worry.  He gives me an anchor as I drift: he reminds me to eat, sleep, breath.  Slow down.  I never watch TV unless I'm home with him: then I invariably fall asleep while watching and sleep for hours and hours and hours and hours. . .

I drag him out of the house.  And into conversation.  And on adventures.

Me & Boyfriend aren't the only example of different working in my relationships.  My best friend has several tattoos, belly dances, and loves sushi.  I will never ink my body, am a total bunhead, and loathe raw fish.  See?  Different is good.

I Made Another Blog.

I know.  I know I know I know I know!  I hardly have time to squeeze writing and sharing and posting good stuff on this blog (which I love so much).  Why would I ever go out and make another one?!?!?  Well, this other one is something I've been thinking about doing in some form or other for a long time now.  It's called I Want You To Know and it has a totally different theme and feel than A Space For Inspiration does.  You know how one of the goals I hold closest is the idea of starting a family/being a mom?  Well, this blog is about that.

Now before you panic, I am not pregnant.  I have no intentions of abandoning my collegiate career, my performance career, my grad school career, my wild and carefree youth (ok so it's a pretty tame and detail oriented youth, but you get the idea) or any of the rest of that sort of thing.  Marriage, kids, all that is a long time away for me still. . . which got me thinking.  I'm pretty young and I'm still learning new things everyday.  If I learn one new and valuable thing everyday for 365 days, and I'm ten years away from having kids, thats. . . well a lot more things than I can count right now.  So thats what this new blog is for.  To write down the things I learn that are important (or at least that I think are important right now).  To share images and thoughts and ideas and realizations and lessons that inspire me or help me grow as a person that I think might do the same for my (future) kids.

I couldn't do a journal or letters.  I'd loose them and my handwriting sucks.  So instead I am infringing on the blogosphere, taking up more than my fair share of space.  If you might be interested in what I have to say, or have advice to share, or just want to laugh at my mumbled musings, please check out I Want You To Know.

Thanks and love (can you tell I'm a wee bit embarrassed by myself?).

Auditions.

The bane of every performer's existence.  We'd kill to get one, pray for them every night, prepare for them everyday, spend all our money on headshots and training before them, scoure the internet and newspapers and grapevine for word of one. . . and we absolutely hate them.  At least I do - and I know most of my friends feel the same way.  I can't help but be a little exicted for the ones I have lined up right now though.  Tomorrow morning/afternoon I'm auditioning for summer stock at a local theater back home.  They're season includes "Singin' In the Rain," which is one of my absolutel favorite musicals - and probably my favorite movie musical - and "A Funny Thing Happened On the Way to the Forum," Stephen Sondheim's first all original, all his own work.  I'm armed with a brand new, beautiful color headshot thanks to my incredibly talented friend at quigleyphotos.com.  I revamped my resume, updating it to include things like my Irene Ryan Alternate nomination, and my MTE class under the training.  I also really enjoy both the shows, and am very very very very motivated to really dive into the auditioning process.  I've watched my beautful, talented, and excpetional friend Mary-Elizabeth bust her ass since December auditioning EVERY SINGLE weekend for company after company, so she has employment when she graduates.  And lemme tell ya folks, the girl is a gorgeous. . . it's inspired me to really up my game in the auditioning arena.  I need to build my resume, get my name out there, get the ball rolling.  If it's taking Mary-Elizabeth her whole senior year to find something, Lord knows it's going to take me even longer.  So I think the audition should go well, just based on my energy level. . .a at least thats what I'm hoping!

I also throroughly enjoy both the shows and have really improved my vocals this semester, so I think I should be ok.  The frustrating thing is I just know I could be a valuable member of the cast: I work hard, I'm a good dancer, a good actress, and a solid, reliable singer.  I love the rehearsal process and being on stage: even the longest rehearsals are usually (hey no one's perfect!) fun for me, and the faculty here at my school have really beaten professionalism into us.  I just hope I have the chance to be that cast member!

Then on Monday I'm auditioning for a dance company - a brand new dance company - here!  My modern teacher is starting his own company, and has opened up the auditioning process to a handful of us in the upper level classes.  Monday during class time it is!  I would so LOVE to be able to be a part of the inaugural performance this fall - it really should be beautiful, his choreography always is!


I'd appreciate it greatly blogosphere, if you could wish me "Merde," and broken legs these next few days!

New Name?

So what do you all think of the new header?  Did you notice the big change?  Thats right, I bit the bullet and changed the name of this space . . . I think.  The URL will stay the same, because it's based on my name instead of hte blog's name (and it matches up with tumblr, etc.).  I decided the name of the blog needed a change for several reasons.  The first was I got inspired: for my dance composition class, we have to have these thigns called "special holy notebooks," which we are to carry on our person at all times.  These notebooks are for us to jot down our ideas - whatever inspires us, intrigues us, whatever we think is beautiful or interesting.  The idea is that we can later go back and create movement, phrases, dances, even whole concert-length works from our hastily jotted, visceral reactions to the world around us.  It's a pretty cool idea, and one that I'm familiar with not just as a dancer/choreographer but because it's a very common technique for authors.  Even actors do something similar, where they may right down interactions, descriptions, ideas that can help them later as they create new characters.  What I decided to do was buy one of those little index/flashcard things.  You know, the ones that re like mini spiral notebooks?  That way, it would be small enough to fit in my purse and when I filled it up, I could rip out the index cards with ideas I wanted to pursue and recycle the rest.  I was doodling on this "sacred, holy" notebook cover.  I wrote a bunch of words on the front: words like "movement," "imagery," "expression," "freedom," "creativity."  And int he center in purple I wrote "Inspiration."  It became "my place for Inspiration."  which is exactly whay this blog is for me.

It's where I go to vent, to talk, to feel inspired and encouraged.  It's where I like to share art and music and imagery that says something tome (and hopefully others).  It's a conduit for expression and free thinking.  It. too, is a space for inspiration.

What do you think?  Leave me feedback, I always love hearing what you have to say!

Dance + Camera = New Post

Hello beautiful person reading my blog!  I apologize for my negligence: it's really been quite shameful.  I am back in teh blogging world, however, and have something fun to share with you.  Pictures!  At some point, one of you lovely followers had asked me to post pictures of myself dancing, and for the first time I think i'll be able to oblige.  All of the pictures of me in a dress are by Quigley Photography, which you can follow here.  All the pictures of me in a window/on a couch and wearing sweats were taken by my friends Karyl and Laura last Saturday!

Without any further ado, here is what happens when you ask a dancer to sit still for headshots:

"And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music"

-Friedrich Nietzsche

"Let us dance in the sun, wearing wildflowers in our hair. . ."

-Susan Polis Shutz

"To watch us dance is to hear our hearts speak."

-Hopi Indian Quote

The following pictures, on the other hand, are what happen when you ask a group of undergrad dancers to rehearse just a liiiiiiiiiiiiiittttllleee longer on a Saturday between shows.  I wish we'd planned ahead so we'd could have had things like dancewear (it was a marking/concept rehearsal), a good camera, the forethought to tidy the room. . . post script, I'm the one wearing the blue thermal, with the long hair.

"Evermore in the world is this marvelous balance of beauty and disgust, magnificence and rats."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

"There's no secret to balance, you just have to feel the waves."

-Frank Herbert

"Never be afraid to try something new. . ."

"Similar creatures, we are chasing the pipe dream down,"

-Sara Barielles "Any Way the Wind Blows."

"Wish you would step back from the ledge my friend. . . you could, cut ties with all the lies that you've been living in. . ."

-Third Eye Blind "Jumper."

"We're fools whether we dance or not, so we may as well dance."

-Japanese Proverb

"Talent is luck: the important thing in life is courage."

-Woody Allen

"When you do dance, I wish you

A wave o' th' sea, that you might ever do
Nothing but that."

-William Shakespeare (The Winter's Tale)

We didn't plan on similar poses. . . thats just what happened spontaneously. 

"Friendship is being two halves of the same coin: not always matching but perfectly coordinated, and entirely useless apart.  "

"Now bring me that horizon. . . "

-Johnny Depp (Captain Sparrow) Pirates of the Caribbean

"I'll teach you to jump on the wind's back, and away we go."

-Peter Pan

(sidenote: i never had the slightest interst in being Tinkerbelle.  i've always wanted to be Peter Pan: with a voice and of my own, a sword, and limitless courage  Fighting pirates, starting food fights, climbing trees, listening to stories and roaming wheresoever i please with my Lost Boys)

"All the world's a stage,

And all the men and women merely players;

They have their exits and their entrances;

And one man in his time plays many parts. . ."

-William Shakespeare (Much Ado About Nothing)



More To Come Later

Sorry I haven't been on here at all in the past week or so.  I've been away on my much-talked about spring break, out of the country.  Yes, it's been wonderful.  Yes, there are pictures.  Yes I have stories and memories and all sorts of things to blog about.  I promise I will be back soon!  Today is my last day in this tropical paradise, however, and I'm going to enjoy all the warmth, sunlight, and tropical breezes I can before I return to my beloved New England's dreary late winter.

I hope you beautiful people who read have had an excellent week, and I apologize for any comments I haven't replied to!

Last thought before I head off - please, please, please keep praying for the people of Japan, and their families/friends abroad.  This natural disaster struck home for me in a handful of ways, and I can only imagine what it must be like to really be in the thick of it.

Happy Saturday everyone.

I Guess I Just Thought. . .

that I would be walking - no, running - away.  That I would have that mysterious thing called "closure."  That the day I moved, I'd be there to carry my own suitcase.  That I wouldn't want to make blueberry pancakes with berries from the bush in the yard one more time.

That I wouldn't be struggling with tears 200 miles away.  Maybe in the yard.  Maybe in the car.  Maybe, even, in the old clubhouse where we traced our names in ballpoint pen every summertime.  Not in a dorm room, alone, and unsure.

I miss the lilacs already.

Summer will come again, as it always does, everywhere in the world.  I knew this day would come, as in some form it does for us all.  For now, it's time to forget what I thought would happen and realize this is what IS happening.

There is no shame in crying, even if there is confusion.